Consolation Prize

When is not the first prize, should be glad at least you get the consolation prize. There still a lot of people din't even get a damn.
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Wakeup today, yesterday seem like a sour dream. I realize that i'm not the one who write the story. I'm just the actor, should say a pedestrian that walk by in the backdrop of the movie. No purpose, no meaning, no feeling. It just part of the job to walk pass and make the movie look nicer.

Consolation Prize, is how to make me feel better. Just to replace something that been owing me since years ago. I been wished for this day where i can at least get a consolation prize, but only realize that is not that happy as i thought. It just dig out all the feeling inside me again after 4 years. The pain at the moment u leave me, i hate this feeling. I used so many years to make me feel better, but now all refresh again. Need how many years for me to feel better again?another 4 years?

Should i be glad for it? I hope I can. Maybe is easy for her, but not for me.

Sorry. I dunno how to reply you.